When mother-daughter team, Katherine Cook Briggs and Isabel Briggs Myers, created the Myers Briggs Type Instrument, (MBTI), inspired by the works of Carl Jung, the duo may not have considered how their personality assessment might impact romantic relationships. But we have.
The Myers Briggs personality types maintain that we all have four pairs of preferences:
E or I: The first pair is introversion versus extroversion, which indicates where we get our energy — from the interior world of our own thoughts (introvert) or stimulation from the outer world (extrovert).
S or N: The second pair involves sensing or intuition, which describes how we take in information, either focusing on the information given (sensing) or interpreting and adding meaning (intuition).
T or F: The third pair refers to decision-making: being objective, logical and linear (thinking), or using interpretation, nuance, and instinct (feeling).
J or P: The last pair tells us when we make decisions: whether we decide quickly (judging) or prefer to keep our options open for indefinite periods of time (perceiving).
To figure out your and your partner’s Myers-Briggs types, take a free online test. Once you know what personality type your partner is, you can start planning the perfect romantic date idea.
Here are the best date ideas for every Myers-Briggs personality type:
1. SF Personality Types
ISFJ date idea: Plan or host an extended family reunion and witness how your partner radiates.
ISFP date idea: Attend a captivating art exhibit and afterward, you and your sweetie share your favorite parts. If you both have a “P” for an end letter (and you really want to attend this art show), make a conscious effort to get tickets ahead of time. Or, surprise them with a weekend getaway to an undisclosed secret location.
ESFJ date idea: Plan to head to a fun upscale party where the latest trends are apt to be in full force; your partner will be energized and excited to share that “party high” with you.
ESFP date idea: Throw a “cause” party where you and your date offer something back to the community or someone you care about who could use your help.
2. ST Personality Types
ISTJ date idea: An art gallery visit, but first research artists you both are interested in.
ISTP date idea: Planning way ahead (at least a week out to allow for reflection) a visit to a botanical garden with a stringed quartet or a book lecture at a local wine or coffee shop.
ESTJ date idea: Get tickets to a PGA golf event or Opening Day tickets to his favorite baseball team.
ESTP date idea: Plan a museum visit or sit in on a lecture or symposium.
3. NF Personality Types
INFJ date idea: Discover their favorite cause (i.e. Humane Society, Habitat for Humanity, Oceanic Causes) and plan a date or a weekend where you two contribute to really make a difference.
INFP date idea: Attend a poetry reading or a community play.
ENFJ date idea: Create a group activity where all feel included — attend a paint party or host a themed party with a killer theme that’s super creative.
ENFP date idea: If your last type letter is a J, plan a surprise hiking trip, a spontaneous getaway, or even a challenging creative project — a 4-session cooking class that they can have fun with.
4. NT Personality Types
INTJ date idea: Attend a speaking event where he can ask questions and even challenge the speaker.
INTP date idea: Have a small dinner party where you invite some brilliant thinkers, philosophers, teachers and open the intellectual floodgates.
ENTJ date idea: Give your ENTJ a goal-oriented event — a hockey game or a football game where he can mastermind and plan the tailgate and all of the logistics.
ENTP date idea: Take a long walk and (from an emotionally detached stance) you pose questions on six or seven topics that are controversial or intellectually stimulating. Allow him the space to share his beliefs, without any call to action.
For example, if you have a clear preference for judging (strong J) and feel compelled to plan every detail for your man who is a clear perceiver (strong P who loves open-ended opportunities), you may need to throttle back your organization to let him slowly assimilate and allow for spontaneous surprises to appear in the evening.
Like a jigsaw puzzle, direct yourself to merely assemble three or four corners of the puzzle pieces, so you can both fill in the remaining pieces of your date together.
Once you recognize your own preferences and those of your guy, it’s super easy to plan the perfect date for you and your guy.