A friend recently took me to task saying that I had only included the positive characteristics about the signs, especially in relation to how the signs were as friends. “What about the sh*tty friends?” she asked.
She was right — I like to focus on the positive attributes we get from our astrological signs; the ones that are fun and comforting. But sometimes it’s good to look at the not-so-charming aspects to ourselves.
No matter how much you may try, you’re not always going to be wonderful and upbeat. The truth is you’re going to have bad moods and crappy days where you lash out, meltdown or just do something annoying. You may not even need a bad day; you just enjoy getting into an argument or being a total tool just because you feel like it.
So here they are, the worst things about each zodiac sign and the parts of each of them that lead to toxic friendships. Yes, we’re all amazing and wonderful … except when we’re not.
Aries (March 21 – April 19)
There’s nothing they enjoy more than finding embarrassing pictures of their friends, posting them to Facebook and never forgetting to tag them. Now, if someone did that to them, they would have a hissy fit. They can dish it out, but they sure can’t take it.
Taurus (April 20 – May 20)
Oh Taurus, with their hilarious (not at all) practical jokes. They are still laughing about that time they pulled the chair out from under your friend. I’m surprised they could take that much time away from looking at themselves in the mirror searching for imperfections. Yes, I know they couldn’t find any, though they are gifted at pointing out other people’s flaws.
Gemini (May 21 – June 20)
Geminis love to make people squirm, whether it’s by saying something completely inappropriate or doing something awkward. But then there are times where they’re the perfect host. Because they have two very distinct sides to their personality, you never know what you’re going to get with a Gemini.
Cancer (June 21 – July 22)
Cancers are very emotional and if someone hurts their feelings or says something they don’t like, they have no problem stopping all communication with them and cutting them out. The trouble is that even when they’re talking to someone, they never return a text message.
Leo (July 23 – August 22)
Leos are the drama queens/kings of the zodiac. Everything is all about them, all the time, and they demand constant attention. They think they are a great friend because it allows people bask in their glory, but they don’t even remember their friends’ birthdays. Special warning to Leo friends: never make fun of their bed head.
Virgo (August 23 – September 22)
Virgos are weird about the strangest things, like how they won’t give you the WiFi password when you go to their house. It’s not like you’re going to go there when they’re not home and watch YouTube videos. And that’s not all. Virgos spend an obscene amount of time making plans; nobody really knows what they’re planning, but they’re too busy doing it to go out with their friends and have fun.
Libra (September 23 – October 22)
Libras aren’t always lazy bastards, but when they are, watch out. They think nothing of staying in their pajamas and binge-watching Netflix the entire day. They’re also flirtatious to a fault and will find themselves in long, drawn out relationships with losers because they hate conflict and don’t want to hurt anybody’s feelings. Put on your big girl pants and dump that loser, Libra.
Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)
Scorpios are the worst because they are King of the Spoilers, and almost always will give away the ending of an episode — even when you beg them not to. If you’re a Scorpio, you also really know how to hold a grudge and act on it. Vindictive much, Scorpio?
Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)
Sagittarians will push their friends (who are entirely clothed) into a pool because they think it’s funny. When their friends get mad, they’re floored. “It was just a joke,” they whine. Sagittarius seem to be missing the gene about not taking advantage of people. If someone lends them money, they never return it, and if they offer to take someone to the airport, Sagittarius doesn’t pay for parking.
Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)
Capricorns are never disappointed in their friends because they’re always expecting the worst anyway. Capricorns have a tendency to be condescending know-it-alls who won’t forgive you if you mess up, even though that’s exactly what they’re waiting for you to do.
Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)
You know what’s annoying about Aquarius? The way they always beat everybody at any video game; other people like to win occasionally, too. Aquarians spend so much energy on being unique and special that they start to look down on everybody else for being so basic.
Pisces (February 19 – March 20)
Pisces will steal a joke and tell it so many times that they really believe they made it up. They didn’t intentionally mean to steal material, they just get confused. Pisces are the odd combination of being fearful and overly trusting, which feeds into their constant role as victim. Pisces know it and so does everybody else: they can be a bit of a downer.